i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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