Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
