The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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