that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Pants are for mortals
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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