it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
