We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
