and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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