no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
