you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He felt like a one man threesome
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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