i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
