I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
