let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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