I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize