just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
