Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
bring money and cleavage
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
