Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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