Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
