I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
