I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize