I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
