Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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