I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize