Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
