I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Sober January is a disaster.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I need a beard to bite.
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