I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Randomize
