if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
