oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
