i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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