oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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