Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
