"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
