my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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