Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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