all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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