mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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