This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize