If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You should frame my arrest warrant.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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