Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
