she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im holly from the hills drunk
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
