ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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