I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
