Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
