I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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