big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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