what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
