I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
