Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
