You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
