Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
