you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
