So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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