do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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