sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Randomize
