You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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