Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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