he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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