That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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