i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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