we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
