i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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