Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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