I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
