worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize