All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
