well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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