yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
