you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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