I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
