You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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