My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
