I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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