yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
