I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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