Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
