you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
