Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There r osticjed everywhere
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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